Leaving the 'Berra

This week has seen a dramatic change in my attitude towards leaving. Up until this point, I've been so busy organising university places, and visa applications, and flights, and leave and luggage and all the multitude of other things that I thought I would never get together. I've passed the time daydreaming about what my trip will be like, and cursing how slow the time is passing and the monotonous waiting for things to happen. But this week, I've started noticing the things that I will be leaving. This week has been full of things that I've done 'for the last time' (must remember that I'm not dying, and will return to Canberra/Australia in just over a year), and people I'm going to miss.

Over the past couple of weeks I've farewelled friends in Sydney, and at the coast, and at a very fun night out in Canberra, and at a work dinner, and at a work afternoon tea, and at a lunch with colleagues, and at a dinner at a friend's place, and over coffee, and at trivia at the local pub, and at drinks at Parliament House. And at each of these events it hasn't been until the hug at the end that I realise, 'Oh, I'm going!', and that it will be a while until I do any of these things again. It's equal parts exciting and daunting.

The thing that really enforced that I'm actually moving away from Canberra and not just going on a brief holiday was my garage sale. The last time I moved houses (in January) I gave my sister some of the more sentimental stuff that I wanted to keep, but knew I wouldn't really use. So this weekend just gone, I was free to sell the majority of my possessions.

I decided to get rid of everything - I can buy new stuff when I get back. I just didn't want to be tied to this stuff anymore. And this way, when I return to Australia, it will be a whole new beginning where I can make decisions about the stuff I want in my life. Plus, there are plenty of fully furnished apartments around Canberra, if this is where I return. My sister took my cat, Miles, and my scooter, Betty, and I sold everything else. I sold the bed, I sold the TV, I sold the BBQ, I sold the kitchen stuff, I sold the CDs, I sold the DVDs, I sold the Tupperware (by far the hardest of all my collections to see carried off my tight-arse bargain hunters), I gave away the clothes, I sold it all. Highlights of the garage sale were the first purchase of the day which was a pair of handcuffs to an old guy at 7.15am (I was still supremely hungover and weirded out), and another guy who rummaged through a box of junk I'd just randomly thrown things into and who was determined to give me money for a used file for scraping skin off your foot and an assortment of nail polishes. I was determined not to have too much junk left at the end, so people were just loading up armfuls of stuff and taking it.

My very kind sister, to whom I will be forever thankful and indebted, drove up from Albury and took anything that was left from the garage sale to charity/the tip. I was also very impressed with our girl power after loading up the trailer with my scooter and checking out youtube for some knots to tie it down. From all accounts, Miles is also enjoying his new home in Albury and has managed to avoid the resident Labrador.

So, after the garage sale (and a massive night out on the town), Brook drove off into the sunset with the last of my possessions, and I was left at home alone on the couch with nothing to do and no TV. And I cried. I was somewhat overwhelmed, peering into my bedroom and knowing that everything I now owned amounted to this:

A bunch of clothes, some pillows, a suitcase, a backpack, a laptop and an iPad. I wanted a nap, and I didn't have the energy to set up the air mattress. So (and I'm not proud of this bit), I consumed some of my other possessions (half a case of beer) and passed out on the very uncomfortable couch.

But, I have to say, it is completely liberating not having 'stuff' (aside from the lack of sleep I'm getting on the air mattress due to it's slow leak which leaves me lumpy and restless at about 4am every morning). Even though I can carry everything I own, I'm still pretty lucky to have as much as I do. Especially when I add to that the many fantastic friends that have farewelled me so kindly and put up with my talk of Cambridge over the past year or so.

It's been such a long time coming, I'm actually surprised it's happening! But, when I look back at how fast the past year has sped by, I know that the next year will be gone in an instant. So, for now, I will try and remember this feeling of being overwhelmed/excited/scared/anxious/energetic/liberated and make the most of the adventure that will be the next 12 months. Thanks Canberra for being my home for the past seven-and-a-half years. We've had lots of laughs, many hangovers, and even more valuable life lessons. I'll miss you, but you haven't seen the last of me...